I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize