dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
