I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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