don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
