And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
