He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
