I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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