Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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