I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
