He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
