accomplished twins. life is a go
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
