I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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