I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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