her vagine was all disorganized.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize