ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
