I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
