i think i have herpe
just one?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's blow job season.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
