I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
