So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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