you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I lost the right to judge tonight
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
