know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize