Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
