You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
