I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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