a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
