I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
