Me too!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize