Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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