Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
