you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
