she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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