can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Ketchup is God's man juice
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
