As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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