You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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