Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
