i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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