Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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