I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
