Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize