I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
