Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
