i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize
