4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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