Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
well you can't waste a boner
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
