I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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