Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Pants are for mortals
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
