Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
