its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
