i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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