dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
