she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
