just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
