he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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