Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
