True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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