Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
