so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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