I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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