dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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