My hair reeks of homosexuality.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize