We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
