I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
