How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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