she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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