john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
